I was thinking about the recent Nestle Facebook punch-up while putting my potatoes in this afternoon and, aside to the rational discussions about facilitation, rules, law and so forth, I wondered ‘how did that *feel* for the online facilitator/moderator/host?’.
I bet it hurt a lot; I mean – that much conflict and anger and finger pointing and this and that, it’s going to take it’s toll isn’t it?
As community managers, we find ourselves in an interesting position – we’re right in the middle between brands or organisations or institutions, and the people they are trying to support or service or engage with via the online platforms. This is an environment that runs enormous risk of stress and burnout; we have huge responsibility yet varying authority, we represent the movement to the organisation and vice versa.
We’re facilitating like mad in an endlessly changing context, looking for paths through this complexity, seeking a balance of power, and ‘genuine’ atmosphere, and other good things.
Asides to the workload, that’s a tough emotional challenge. Especially when it kicks off like it does sometimes, and people behave astonishingly badly and you have to maintain your cool throughout. I thought I might burst into tears if that sort of ferocity kicked off on my patch to be honest. I know I would have real problems trying to keep calm, and keep the outburst in perspective, and not take it personally and other feelings.
Of course, I’d deal with it, but I wondered if anyone had any ways of understanding our own emotional response to these situations and methods to ‘ease the pressure’. Like counsellors – who have regular counselling sessions of their own in order to help themselves handle their responses to their clients’ sessions.
So I had a question or two:
- How do you handle your emotional response to punch-ups in your spaces?
- How do support your facilitators when it kicks off?
- Do we account for the stress inherent in our roles and how that will affect us?
- Do we have mechanisms to help us stay calm, and reflective time to process the experience?
I think one important thing to remember is that when working with communities (online or not), it’s rarely ab0ut “us” – i.e. participants are often acting out their own concerns or issues.
Of course, the more of ourselves we invest in our communities, the harder it is for us to differentiate the two.
Good post Ed. I guess this is when being part of a team is helpful – get it off your chest over lunch or a beer after work with people who understand the context. If that’s not possible due to people working in remote locations, a virtual meeting spot is helpful.
Good questions Ed, and I think you’re in pretty good shape to deal with this kind of thing because you’re consciously articulating unconscious responses. I think the noticing is key to remaining safe – having said that, I’m not sure exactly what I do, but will try to pay special attention the next time I’m in a situation like that….
I agree with Matt about the focus on issue/purpose, and with Bern about the support of others to prepare in advance and unwind it all later. That’s what mates are for.
I’m not running a community, just a portal for france, in our “free” time together with my webmaster who has more distance to my passion transition, but it leaded nearly to a burnout, but fortunatly my husband said stop, no courses, no emails; just a few days in the mountains to see the perspective again. And that helped, now i plan my days more equilibre, and what is not done or answered will wait, less pressure, more time to enjoy the beautifull nature around us, that’s why we choose this place, and not to spend the whole day behind the PC
Excellent post. Found it very informative thank you! Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.